The Vatican

time to bitch on lj

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 18:26:29 GMT

Nothin good to report. I'm being sued I'm 5 months pregnant my bdaddy caught another case. I found some texts on his phone n ended it with him. N he's fuckin with my head real bad. I feel so alone n betrayed n terrified I don't know what to do

Livejournal blows.

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 21:15:50 GMT

What blows most about it is that no one really uses it anymore.
Which actually isnt too terrible cuz its upside is that by the time you read this, I would have already called you all lame for not posting more and you wouldnt have even noticed. A shame.

But really.
Why are people so gay?
I try to extend some type of olive branchish string of communication with you assholes and what do I get? Pure silence. Fuck you guys too!

OH MY GOOD JESUS

Fri, 17 Jul 2009 16:11:28 GMT

WHY DOES LIFE SUCK SO BAD!!!!!!

HEY MAN! LOOK AT ME ROCKIN OUT IM ON THE RADIO!

Sat, 13 Jun 2009 19:28:43 GMT

Fluicfke

Your Pope survives another year!

Wed, 27 May 2009 16:38:02 GMT

Get down!

Although its a rainy piss ass lookin day outside, i wont have to see it because imma be in a bar all day. yep.

Happy Birthday to me.

A Few Facts About Kasserz

Sun, 17 May 2009 06:12:11 GMT

1. I hate people.
I really really do. They dont know how to drive, theyre ignorant, selfserving, backstabbing, evil, arrogant, and just downright annoying.
2. I have this thing...real-time doesnt seem to have very much of an effect on me.
Everyday I just coast through, hour by hour, day by day, I just get by. Not saying that occasionally I enjoy myself, and do something productive....but ya know.
3. I think love is the most important thing.
id slit anyones throat for the people i love....im not kidding.
4. Betrayal is a nay.
Betray me, ill snap your neck.

Writer's Block: Grab and Go

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 16:26:34 GMT

Scenario: For exactly 1 minute, you get access to all the databases of all the intelligence agencies in the world (CIA, FBI, KGB, MI-5, etc). What do you want to find out before time is up and you're caught and jailed forever?

View 503 Answers

No shit. Id look myself up, and some other acquaintences, and then Id find out about Aliens, 911, who killed Kennedy, and that other propaganda bullshit.

Pissed.

Sun, 01 Mar 2009 19:11:24 GMT

I dont know where to begin
Somethin tells me youre tryin to get underneath my skin
Whats the deal? Im still not sure
To find out youre intentions, werent exactly pure
Youre now fucked in the game son
You know how it goes, hardly a battle that hasnt been won
Opposition is a constant in my line of work
You dont scare me you fuckin jerk
What you say when Im not around is just fine
Cuz when I come back in the city in due time
Imma show you what youve already seen
Imma host a nightmare in your dreams
You really need to watch what you say bro
I know the difference between who you are and what you show
And trust I will go for broke on revealin your punk ass
And like all your other friendships this one didnt last
Ill prove you to be the pussy you always were
Come holler when youre ready to be a man sir
Youre still just a irresponsible no good boy
Real is to you what milk is to soy
Complete fuckin opposite you fake ass mothafucker
Anyone who associates with you is a fuckin sucker.

Some people just dont know...

Sun, 01 Mar 2009 02:49:18 GMT

Some people don't know
Don't know what is wrong
So they're knee deep
Knee deep in sorrow

Ya know what....

Sat, 28 Feb 2009 07:00:06 GMT

Fuck today and fuck you.

Changes.

Sat, 21 Feb 2009 04:28:24 GMT

By the end of the week...my future as Ive seen it for this past month will be different.

Troubles are rollin in again, and its gettin real tough out here for a pimp.

I wont go in to severe details, Im just....controlled venting.

YEAH FUCK YOU TOO

Thu, 12 Feb 2009 04:34:39 GMT

For all the weed that I've smoked yo this blunt's for you
To all the people I've offended yeah fuck you too!
To all the friends I used to have yo I miss my past
But the rest of you assholes can kiss my ass
For all the drugs that I've done yo I'm still gon' do
To all the people I've offended yeah fuck you too!
For everytime I reminisce yo I miss my past
But I still don't give a fuck, y'all can kiss my ass

My BB!

Wed, 04 Feb 2009 22:41:42 GMT

Thats how it started.

This how it is now.

its heart goes bump bump bump

I made a clever disguise, became brilliant with lies & pretended that I loved everything I despised

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 19:03:38 GMT

So its been quite awhile LJ since Ive updated you...or read my friends rants on your pages. There seems to be some unnecessary drama in some peoples lives. Terrible to hear that. Truly. Well things could be worse. Take, for instance, my year thus far.

No shit, its only January 27th. But trust me, its still fuckin nuts.

Ch. 1 Financial Responisibilties.
Lets discuss. Put aside the moral financial responsibilities, like the money I owe my uncles girlfriend, or my lawyer, or well..seemingly everyone in the fuckin world. And lets look legal. In traffic tickets from 2008 alone I owe $952.40. I have to pay a good majority of that BY March 9th 2009. Fuck me. Now lets look at court costs, and all those bullshit fines that come with being charged with a felony...over $1000 I do believe. Yes, thankfully I have a job at the moment. And lets hope and pray that I get up on all my cash in time. For I have another suprise expense coming to me in the not too distant future.

Ch. 2 Relationships
For a year or so now, Ive been seeing this guy. Many of you may have met my dearest friend Blue Stacks aka Smoke. At the start it wasnt what it is now, and it shocks both of us that things turned out the way they did. It wasnt intended. In the present however, I dont know if there is a person I care about more than him. Ive busted my balls trying to make sure he and I were straight when all that shit went down hill last year. He makes me truly happy when Im with him, we fake-argue, play, wrestle (and I soooo fuckin win), and we generally just have a good time. Now things are starting to get complicated. A couple weeks ago I found out I was pregnant, dont know how far along I am, ill find that out on Thursday Im sure. Ive done the abortion thing already. I went blindly into it believing I was alot stronger than I was. It wasnt about strength as much as it was humanity. I mistook the two. To this day Im still heartbroken about it. But I did what I thought I needed to do. This one....well, I dont want to go through that again. Theres financial reprocussions to the situation I understand, I just dont know what exactly I expect myself to do just yet. Everyday is different, keep it, get rid of it...off and on. Mom doesnt want me to go down the road that she did. She wants more for me. But I dont want to regret this, and I dont want to feel the same pain that I felt a year ago.
My mom and I are closer than ever it seems. Without having to hide my addictions and things that are going on in my life it seems alot smoother. I used to cower when I heard her say my name. The Monster is woke and I would rush around the house trying to get her put together for work. Now, its a peaceful symbiatic relationship. I dont fuck with her, she doesnt fuck with me. Its all good.

Ch. 3 School
Short chapter. Tried to go to school...they revoked my financial aid....bastards!

Ch. 4 Mental Health
I gotta go see a psych on the 30th. Along with a therapist, and my caseworker. Should be interesting. I wont go into how Im fuckin nuts or anything. I think Ive shared too much already. Anxiety, Depression, and a whole lotta personalities seem to be key issues though. ill keep you posted when Im certifiably crazy.

Sun, 28 Dec 2008 06:22:47 GMT

"It Don't Matter"

Sittin in traffic another day of feeling nothing
Trying to find something I guess it's back to huffin'
Paint and model glue oh how I die when I look
At you smilin' lovin' life and all I know is blue
Rainy days and cold stares broken love affairs
Everything's beautiful as long as I ain't there
I guess I wasn't meant to crack a smile who cares
I think I'll go to sleep for a while now

I'm barely livin' in my skin depression's my only friend
And I don't know where I am heading tryin' to forget where I've been
And I'm so sick of lying God please shwo me that silver lining
Cuz I've heard tale and I'm not well my heads full of hell and
This world's a jail but

And it don't matter and I don't care
I let my pain into the air
Cuz everything good's over there
And everything here's hard to bear
And it don't matter and I don't care
I let my pain into the air
Cuz everything good's over there
And everything here's hard to bear

And as the apin begins to displace had it to ear level
With this place you see it on my face a state of suspended grace
Gradually I erase and find comfort in the sickest womb
I might be present but no in the room
To whom it may consume melting ensembles bleeding chellos running through Bordellos drama
Like Othello hidin' out from Poncharello
Dead off in the Median
Fallin apart like usual handin' out flyers to my funeral

So they say that life's a play and that all the world's a stage
Then for another part I pray the show ends the same way everyday
And my heart carries the pain of a brain I can't explain
Am I insane
Am I insane

And it don't matter and I don't care
I let my pain into the air
Cuz everything good's over there
And everything here's hard to bear
And it don't matter and I don't care
I let my pain into the air
Cuz everything good's over there
And everything here's hard to bear

And everything good is gone
And everything good is gone
And everything good is gone
And everything bad is here
And everything bad is here
And everything bad is here
It doesn't really matter now does it

And it don't matter and I don't care
I let my pain into the air
Cuz everything good's over there
And everything here's hard to bear
And it don't matter and I don't care
I let my pain into the air
Cuz everything good's over there
And everything here's hard to bear

Jesus loves me this I know

Wed, 24 Dec 2008 19:44:12 GMT

Dear 08.
Get the hell outta here already.

Fucked in the game again

Thu, 11 Dec 2008 03:39:09 GMT

Man, last night was totally fuckin bogue. I went out to get pop, guy in the turning lane, too dark to see him, by the time he was in view it was too late. breaks lock, horn honked, he crashed into my windshield, bouncing off as I accomplish the stop. I get out the car, rushing to his side, GUY GUY! ARE YOU ALRIGHT? CAN YOU HEAR ME? TELL ME YOURE AT LEAST COHEARENT!!! He sits up, blood gushing out of the side of his head, the shakes of anxiety start coming, shock...onlookers shout advice, Im on the phone with 911 rambling my whereabouts and the victims condition, HURRY PLEASE!!!!!!!!! as I scrambled to pick up what was left of his jewelry and shit. SIT DOWN GUY! Do you know what day it is? Whats your name? Personal siezing ensues, onlooker helps guy out with a towel, are you okay? No...my license is suspended, im not on the insurance. I gaze in awe and the human size dent in the windshield....good god what have i done. I pick his phone and hat out of the windshield wipers returning his belongings to him, blood mixing with the rain on the cement. 2 cops from the south, 2 from the north, ambulence is on its way. explaining, fessing up, shaking, no cigarettes, calling whoever I can to let them know whats happened. cuffs on, back of the car. booking, phone calls made, processed and sent into my lonely cell. finding some bleak form of sanity in making calls that i knew wouldnt be recieved. The night was spent perched against the wall balling my eyes out, frame by frame what just happened. IMPACT! Effect! Arraignment in the morning, personal bond issued. Cold walk home, shaking in my moms arms. flashbacks ensue. traumatized.

Dont worry.....

Tue, 28 Oct 2008 03:19:27 GMT

I was locked up. But Im out now. AND Im still alive.

fuck it

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 03:06:20 GMT

2 years probation!What the gay right?

Roc nation it takes a natiom to stop im signin off as the hoods barock

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 06:41:18 GMT

3 weeks later and im 2 days from court. Might not be the happy ending that was intended for our dear ol kasserz. Report when i can. Dueces

Been a month.....

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 16:39:15 GMT

Dont worry Im still alive.

So I crashed that piece of shit and stepped away

Sun, 25 May 2008 05:29:48 GMT

Is there someone you wanna date right now?
Yeah, but its more than likely not going to happen cuz I dont think I can trust him with my heart like that.

Why did you stop liking the last person you liked?
It was obvious it wasnt going to happen.

Who was the last person to give you a hug?
Vlad the Misfit

What do you think of people who DON'T have sex before marriage?
Do you.

Where is the person you need most right now?
Not here. Go figure.

Do you like poptarts?
No.

Where will you be in 12 hours?
Waking up?

Is it easy for others to make you feel intimidated?
No.

How’s your heart been lately?
Weak.

Who did you last receive flowers from?
Derm.

Can you make yourself cry?
Yeah, i just think about my life. :o/

Do you like summer?
Its summer alright

Have you ever liked someone who treated you like crap?
who hasnt?

Is your current hair color mostly your natural hair color?
yeah

Where were you at 8 am this morning?
paaaaaaaassed out.

Everything happens for a reason?
Lets hope

How has the week been?
Gay

Is there something you wish you could tell someone but can't?
Isnt there always?

What is your biggest turn-off?
Snitches.

Time to go Shopping?
I wish.

Have you ever felt replaced?
yep

Are you only friends with the rich?
Not my broke ass friends

Has the opposite sex been in your room before?
Never.

What do you do when you have a bad day?
Take it out on others. its the healthy thing to do.

Do you believe ex's can really ever be "just friends"?
after a certain point yeah

Name someone you know whose name begins with an A:
Amanda

Would you cry if you got a girl pregnant?
Yes...yes I would.

How many kids do you want?
None.

What makes you happy at this moment?
memories

What color are your eyes?
brown

What side of the bed do you sleep on?
right usually

Would you rather go camping or to a five star hotel?
five star fuck the bullshit

When did you last cry?
I dont know

What's your worst habit?
biting my nails and smoking

Do you have a tattoo?
yeah

Do you find it easier to forgive or forget?
Forgiving, I cant forget.

Have you ever taken anyone/anything for granted?
Yep.

Do you hate being alone?
Yes. Oh yes.

Has anyone ever broken your heart?
Plenty.

How late did you stay up last night?
3ish?

What was the first thing you thought this morning?
Duane gets out.

What did you do last night?
Samething I do every night

What are you going to do this weekend?
Not shit.

What were you doing at 12 am last night?
I dont remember

Have you ever been cheated on?
Probably.

Whats life like lately?
Gay.

What exactly are you wearing?
basketball shorts and a wifebeater

What is your current problem?
I wouldnt be able to list them to you.

Have you ever sang in front of a large audience?
A couple of times

Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
a couple of times

Are you comfortable with your height?
yeah

Are you online?
obviously

Do you like the color gray?
yeah

Are you jealous of anyone right now?
Oh yes

Did you ever think someone didn't like you, but found out they really did?
Yeap

When you think of the rainbow, what pops in your head?
Gay

Do you watch American Idol?
absolutely not

Are you afraid of the dark?
Depends whats dark

Do you wear glasses?
yeas

What are you looking forward to in the next months?
Nothing.

When is your birthday?
May 27th

What color is your hair?
blondish brown

Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
yeah

Do you regret your last kiss?
Nope

What are you listening to right now?
Cocaine Blues by Johnny Cash

Do you ever see the person you fell the hardest for?
On occasion.

Id sell my soul my self esteem a dollar at a time one chance one kiss one taste of you my magdelena

Fri, 09 May 2008 01:11:14 GMT

i remember when i used to write with great length in here. When everything in my life could be put into words, discussed openly, or even understood for that matter. How irreparably changed my life has become. From bitching about people I hated at school or my days spent with close friends Its short indescript messages that Im still living. Myspace has grabbed my attention. Bah.

I’d erase these hard times we had yeah And we’d ball ’til we fall

Sat, 26 Apr 2008 05:14:50 GMT

	trap
	Not specifically a place where drugs are sold, rather, The ghetto, specifically the ghetto in Atlanta. Called the trap because people there are stuck in a cycle of selling drugs and hustling to survive, and are therefore "trapped" and unable to leave and make a better life for themselves. "Meet me in the trap, it's goin down."

Sounds bout right. Trapped the fuck out. Got a meetin with lawyer guy tomorrow. Lets see what the deal is.

Hmmm.....

Maybe something not so vague.....

I wish I had the heart to tell you whats going on right now. But I just cant seem to do it. Im kind of afraid what you might do with this information. And God knows I dont want to hurt you like that.

Can I live?

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 01:54:57 GMT

"Can I Live?"
Well we hustle out of a sense of, hopelessness
Sort of a desperation
Through that desperation, we 'come addicted
Sorta like the fiends we accustomed to servin
But we feel we have nothin to lose
so we offer you, well, we offer our lives, right
What do you bring to the table?
-Jay-Z "Hova"

30 years worth of felonies. 3 charges that make one super felony. Say hello to the bad guy. How many of you woulda thought this was my future, that someone you knew would be Dearborn Heights Most Wanted. Criminal Mastermind. Thats what they want to betray me as. Its flattering really. For the authorities to believe that I would have such a lethal impact on the community they want to take my freedom from me.
Smile for the mugshot.
Turn to your right.
Youre now being watched carefully.
Buck up and start legally contributing, even if you used to make more money in a week than most Michiganders do in 2 months.
Its your lifestyle or your freedom.
Its your friends or your family.
Its your life or someone elses.

Jay-Z has a lot of things I can relate to in most of his songs. Maybe its my enviroment, or maybe cuz I know what hes sayin. He definitely speaks to me though.

"Pray"
anywhere there's oppression the drug profession
flourishes like beverages refreshing
sweet taste of sin everything I've seen made me everything I am
bad drug dealer or I victim I beg
what came first moving chickens or the egg
this is why I be so fresh I'm trying to beat life
because I can't cheat death
the truth is the shamelessness ain't stainless is that aim this is
you know who's game this is
move coke like Pepsi it don't matter what the brand name is
I stand behind mine everything I do I'm a man behind mine
I'm not a angel I'm sure but every night before I lay
I drop my knees to the floor and I pray